I grew up in a suburban Detroit middle-class family. My parents were depression- era children. They were frugal spenders and voracious savers. I never went without, food, clothes, or school supplies. We did not see the need for buying frivolous things outside of birthdays or Christmas. They did well, living better than their parents and siblings. When it came to Thanksgiving, we had a lot to be grateful about.
My mother loved to cook and host parties. The fancy china came out and the decorations were handmade and coordinated. There was always plenty of food, (depression era fear of running out). It was a feast for my Dad’s side of the family, that still lived in the area. We had the Detroit Lions football game on the television, (it was turned off for dinner). Our places at the kid's table, or the big table, were marked with nameplates and a special homemade gift. I always ate too much (another tradition) and we let our food digest while watching the Lion’s play. The table was cleared, food put away, and everything washed. The family visited until we grew tired.
When my wife and I married, she had grown up with her own traditions at Thanksgiving. She celebrated with a big farm dinner in Northern Indiana, where her mother’s family was from, with twice as many family members as mine. My wife’s mother grew up on a farm, the second youngest of 10 children. Everyone brought food to share and helped pay for the Turkeys. The Detroit Lion’s game was a tradition there also. They liked to play cards, organized by my father in law. Being that it was 2 hours away, we spent the night at a cousin’s farmhouse with my wife’s whole family. We traditionally made an extra turkey with all the trimmings to enjoy that evening and next day. That Friday, because in the U.S. Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday, we would drive home and harvest our Christmas tree over the weekend.
The traditions were cherished, loved, and looked forward to every year. My wife and I traded family traditions for a couple of years before we decided to land on one place. We smartly decided to spend Thanksgiving with her family, and Easter with mine, (another Kansman tradition). A much better alternative since 2 dinners two hours apart was rough, especially when the weather turns.
This brings me to my first point, that traditions are built through consistency. Yet, even in this constant holiday tradition, there were changes. The decision to spend Thanksgiving with my wife’s family changed 26 years of traditions for me. We have spent 36 years in this new tradition. In those 36 years we have lost the older generation, gained a new generation, and those that marry may start their own tradition. We now drive home after dinner and cards. With new family members come new ideas, like board games, healthier food options, and walks on the country roads to digest the food.
Change is a constant, even in traditional gatherings. But the reason for gathering is still the same; to see relatives, share our bounty, and count our blessings. In this ever-changing world, I believe we need some traditions to hold onto in order to relax, take a deep breath, and be present with loved ones.
What are your Thanksgiving traditions?
Photo credit: ID 101190671 © Andrii Klemenchenko | Dreamstime.com
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