Biases, I have learned, started a long time ago and are ingrained from an early age. It starts with human beings as a type of security response. Soon after birth, infants identify the faces of those people who have been kind and loving to them, providing a safe environment for them. When they see someone who does not look like those people, their initial reaction is one of distrust. Over years of slowly repeating this behavior, it becomes a bias.
This is overly simplified but helps me start the conversation around biases. I grew up in a white family, and in my generation, if you were white you were in my norm of people that looked alike. For my parents, there were biases even among the white race. They differentiated Italians, Irish, German, etc. "Keep to your own”, was a phrase they were taught. Luckily, my parents raised us without bias based on race.
I believe the world is better today at calling out blatant biases. We have a long way to go before we are accepting of all people, but we are less ignorant. There are also workplace regulations and laws in place to protect people from those biases.
There are still sub-conscious biases that happen in the workplace that are not addressed. There are signs of generalities around based on styles, generations, race, gender, political leanings and spiritual beliefs. They aren’t displayed outwardly as in the news reports on TV. It is subtler, like: so and so was not asked to be part of a task force because they were too religious; only women were asked to cook food for the company events, and the reason for the new company benefits was because it would attract more Millennials to come work here.
These are not major issues on the surface. They do, however, create cliques that excluded members of their own work teams. My children are from the Millennial generation and do not like being branded in such a general way just because they were born during certain years. They have always tried to be their own person, to stand out from the crowd. To be labeled as “privileged” or “spoiled “really raises their dander.
Everybody develops these biases and it doesn’t make them bad people. As human beings, we still have the ability to choose our reaction. How we react can be perceived as a positive or negative response. We need to think before reacting and choose the most loving, open response. Here is a 3-step process I personally embrace to become a more open and loving team member:
Stop- Why do I have this reaction? Is it an appropriate reaction?
Think- How would I feel if I was the target of the bias? What would be a better reaction?
Love- How can I stay open to this new process? How would I like to be perceived?
Following this process, I feel I am better at bringing love to the workplace and supporting the civil rights of all. Going back to my original question, what is fair? When it comes to how I treat people, to me it means the following:
When I take personal responsibility for my actions, I am present wherever I am, and I modify my behavioral style to meet the needs and concerns of others. (If you want more detail on this, check out my book “Introducing Love: a New Corporate Paradigm”).
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