An open discussion about Chronic Lateness
I am diligent about being on time, and yet, I have been late. It drives me crazy to hold someone up. To me, that is showing a lack of respect for their time. Time is such a valuable commodity. Once it is gone, you will not get it back. This amplifies the importance of me not stealing somebody else's time. I also have challenges waiting for others. I have gotten better as I have aged. I will share a poem I wrote in 1979 about waiting to hear from my girlfriend early in our relationship. Warning: It is a bit dramatic.
Waiting by Rein Kansman
You wait- even only minutes overdue, but the minutes grow into hours
Starting to wonder- thoughts of missed directions or communications, accidents, rejections, confuse your head.
The feeling starts to grow thicker and the clock ticks louder and louder.
Your insides start to feel like a bottomless pit ...with a whole hardboiled egg stuck in your throat, halfway down.....every swallow starts but never ends.
Then the pain starts, increasing until it feels like a corkscrew is chewing through your guts, deeper and deeper.
The phone rings..... at first you don't even notice, then you jump for it, hoping...
A voice quietly whispers your name, your pulse begins to slow, until 15 minutes later, all is fine.
I warned you about the drama. Here is a beautifully written blog by Madison Taylor on Chronic Lateness.
BY MADISYN TAYLOR
When people are chronically late, they are in essence saying that their time is more important than yours.
Being late for an appointment or a date can seem like a small thing that really doesn't matter, but it communicates volumes, whether we mean it or not. Being kept waiting is an experience that almost no one enjoys because at best, it wastes their time, and at worst, it indicates a lack of regard. It's as if we're saying that our time is more important than their time, so we don't need to honor them by showing up when we said we would. When we are running late, it means a lot if we call and let the person know, especially if it's going to be more than ten minutes. However, if we are chronically late, it may take more than a phone call to properly address the issue. If it's become a habit of ours not to be on time, we may want to look inside ourselves and see what's going on. It's easy enough to make excuses about our behavior, or to project responsibility on the other person, perceiving them to be uptight if they are irritated by our tardiness. What's more difficult, and more meaningful, is looking at ourselves and asking why it is that we always, or often, show up late. Sometimes this happens out of a lack of self-regard as if we aren't really important anyway, so why will anyone care if we're late, or don't show up at all. Chronic lateness can also stem from being disorganized, or simply trying to do too much in one day. Another possible reason for being late to a particular appointment, or date, is that we don't really want to be there. We communicate our disinterest or boredom by not showing up on time. Whatever our reasons, if we raise them to the conscious level, we have an opportunity to live a more conscious life. As we begin to understand the deeper reasons behind our inability to show up on time, we have the option to communicate clearly and consciously about how we really feel, rather than communicating unconsciously by being late.
A side note: A popular song by STYX from the 1980s was "Too much time on my hands". I never understood that until the recent pandemic. I seemed to be looking for more time for over 60 years, and then everything seemed to stop early in 2020. I also learned how to become more patient with waiting.
What are your thoughts or beliefs when it comes to punctuality?
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